Music Reviews, Musings, and Art Shits

Contributors: Lord Mokrap, T, C, Danny Martin, and Yonder Tarr

28th February 2010

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Torche: Meanderthal

Get your happiness out of my metal!

There are times when I become acutely aware of just how inappropriate the machine-gun bursts of blastbeat aggression that make up so much of my music collection are for what’s happening.  This happens to me quite often when I’m walking my dog on warm days.  There we are:  man and beast pushing our way through a pleasantly overgrown field.  The sun is up, bright and fuzzy.  A warm breeze whispers about grass and pine trees.  Mieszko Talarczyk screams, “AN EMPTY SHELL IS ALL THAT REMAINNNNNS!”  This isn’t working.

I remember a summer when my musical myopia seemed particularly inadequate.  I had just started dating a girl, had just graduated college, and was spending the last few months before law school making sure I had a really, really good time.  Suffocation just didn’t cut it.  I think I went an entire week without a single “HURRGGHGLLRRRR” or Tom Arraya scream.

Not to say that metal isn’t uplifting.  Slayer makes me happy.  It really, really does.  But it’s a different sort of happy.  It’s a more intense, let’s run in circles and make faces and do pushups sort of happiness.  There’s a reason black metal bands look (even more) fucking ridiculous if they’re playing in the daytime.

Yesterday was warm and fuzzy.  It’s been a fairly bitter winter by Alabama standards, so I was pleasantly surprised by the sunshine.  As much as I pretend to enjoy the cold, I’m really looking forward to spring.  That’s where “Meanderthal” comes in.

From the angelic mass choir of opener “Triumph of Venus,” the album blasts sunshine into your skull until the surprisingly heavy and depressed closer.  Fuzzed out Sabbath thump props up soaring guitar melodies and overjoyed mountain man howling that is almost always delivered in a harmony.  If you really want to piss off a troll, tell them this is “sludge pop.”  The songs are rather short for this sort of music, which is not a bad thing:  they’re only short because Torche are playing them fast!  This is what stoner rock sounds like if you play it on the wrong rpm, I think.  At around 1:30 – 2 minutes a pop, Torche cram every second with positive energy and batshit melody.  Until the album’s closer “Meanderthal” sounds like it’s grinning ear to ear, even when things get heavy.

If you’re the kind of asshole who likes to drive way too fast on those mythical backroads where it’s “totally ok because no one is ever on them” most of this album would sound great in your car!

And then there’s the title track.  Closer “Meanderthal” is all ominous bass rumble and building tension.  Pounding war drums and scathing feedback scream “DON’T OPEN THAT DOOR!”  A true sucker punch.

So, my advice to the pale unwashed masses:  spring is coming.  Get off your ass, go outside, smile!  It’s quite alright to do these things.  In fact, I say it’s fucking metal.

-Lord Mokrap

Tagged: Music ReviewLord Mokrap

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